The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
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THE INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER "This is your happy hour with Amy Schumer... It's Bossypants meets Trainwreck meets your long weekend." —TheSkimm “Amy’s got your back. She’s in your corner. She’s an honesty bomb. And she’s coming for you.” —Actress Tilda Swinton and Trainwreck co-star The Emmy Award-winning and Tony-nominated comedian, actress, writer, and star of Inside Amy Schumer and the acclaimed films Trainwreck and I Feel Pretty has taken the entertainment world by storm with her winning blend of smart, satirical humor. Now, Amy Schumer has written a refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of (extremely) personal and observational essays. Ranging from the raucous to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing, this highly entertaining and universally appealing collection is the literary equivalent of a night out with your best friend—an unforgettable and fun adventure that you wish could last forever. Whether she’s experiencing lust-at-first-sight while in the airport security line, sharing her own views on love and marriage, admitting to being an introvert, or discovering her cross-fit instructor’s secret bad habit, Amy Schumer proves to be a bighearted, brave, and thoughtful storyteller that will leave you nodding your head in recognition, laughing out loud, and sobbing uncontrollably—but only because it’s over.
Amy Schumer. Frank, fearless and so freaking funny. Her story. In her own words. 'I've only had one one-night stand in my life. Yes, one. I know, I'm so sorry to disappoint anyone who thinks I walk around at all times with a margarita in one hand and a dildo in the other.' In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy shares stories about her family, her relationships, her career, good - and bad - sex, recounting the experiences that have shaped who she is today: from the riches to rags story of her childhood to her teenage quest for popularity (and boys) to becoming one of the most sought-after comedians on the planet and an outspoken advocate for women's rights. Whether she's experiencing lust at first sight in the queue at the airport, discovering her boot camp instructor's secret bad habit, or candidly discussing her father's multiple sclerosis, Amy Schumer proves to be a fearless, original, and always entertaining storyteller. Her book will move you, make you laugh, catch you completely off guard, and answer this burning question: is it okay for a 35-year-old woman to still sleep with her childhood teddy bears? 'Resoundingly brilliant' Guardian "Amy's got your back. She's in your corner. She's an honesty bomb. And she's coming for you." - Actress Tilda Swinton, Trainwreck co-star "A powerful feminist voice." - Guardian "Equal parts naughty cheerleader, self-deprecating Everywoman and fearless truth-teller, Ms. Schumer connects with women and men alike." - New York Times "Wickedly funny and brilliantly talented. Amy Schumer is everything right now." - Glamour "I don't even know if The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo is objectively good, but I inhaled it in a state of buzzing bliss." The Times
The highly anticipated first book from award-winning comedian, writer, producer and actress, Amy Schumer.
New York Times Bestseller Comedy legend Carol Burnett tells the hilarious behind-the-scenes story of her iconic weekly variety series, The Carol Burnett Show. In In Such Good Company, Carol Burnett pulls back the curtain on the twenty-five-time Emmy-Award winning show that made television history, and she reminisces about the outrageously funny and tender moments that made working on the series as much fun as watching it. Carol delves into little-known stories of the guests, sketches and improvisations that made The Carol Burnett Show legendary, as well as some favorite tales too good not to relive again. While writing this book, Carol rewatched all 276 episodes and screen-grabbed her favorite video stills from the archives to illustrate the chemistry of the actors and the improvisational magic that made the show so successful. Putting the spotlight on everyone from her costars to the impressive list of guest stars, Carol crafts a lively portrait of the talent and creativity that went into every episode. With characteristic wit and incomparable comic timing, she details hiring Harvey Korman, Vicki Lawrence, Lyle Waggoner, and Tim Conway; shares anecdotes about guest stars and close friends, including Lucille Ball, Roddy Mcdowell, Jim Nabors, Bernadette Peters, Betty Grable, Steve Lawrence, Eydie Gorme, Gloria Swanson, Rita Hayworth, and Betty White; and gives her take on her favorite sketches and the unpredictable moments that took both the cast and viewers by surprise. This book is Carol's love letter to a golden era in television history through the lens of her brilliant show. Get the best seat in the house for "eleven years of laughter, mayhem, and fun in the sandbox."
Amy Beth Schumer is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actress, and producer. She ventured into comedy in the early 2000s before appearing as a contestant on the fifth season of the NBC reality competition series Last Comic Standing in 2007. Since 2013, she has been the creator, co-producer, co-writer and star of the Comedy Central sketch comedy series Inside Amy Schumer, for which she received a Peabody Award and for which Schumer has been nominated for five Primetime Emmy Awards for her work on the series, winning Outstanding Variety Sketch Series in 2015. She wrote and made her film debut in a starring role in Trainwreck, for which she received nominations for the Writers Guild of America Award for Best Original Screenplay and the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress - Motion Picture Comedy or Musical. She published a memoir in 2016, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, which held the top position on The New York Times Non-Fiction Best Seller list for two weeks, and has also written for Cosmopolitan magazine. Schumer also starred alongside Goldie Hawn in the comedy film Snatched.
From internationally bestselling author Amy Stuart comes a “dark and deliciously disturbing” (Publishers Weekly) novel about one woman’s search for answers when another woman goes missing from a desperate, drug-addled mountain town where everyone is implicated in her disappearance. What happens when you vanish from your life and leave no story behind? Someone makes one up for you. Clare is on the run. From her past, from her husband, and from her own secrets. When she turns up alone in the remote mining town of Blackmore asking questions about Shayna Fowles, a young woman who has gone missing, everyone wants to know who Clare really is and what she’s hiding. Because everyone in this place has secrets—Jared, Shayna’s mysterious ex-husband; Charlie, the charming drug pusher; Derek, Shayna’s overly involved family doctor; and Louise and Wilfred, her distraught parents. As Clare unravels the mysteries surrounding Shayna’s disappearance, Clare must confront her own demons, as she moves deeper and deeper into her elaborate web of lies. But what is she really running from? Haunting and electrifying, Still Mine is a thriller that is “impossible to put down” (Robert Dugoni, New York Times bestselling author of My Sister’s Grave).
In her darkly funny memoir meets brother-in-arms guide to the depression life, comedian Jacqueline Novak provides the first and only book for depression sufferers--short term visitors or lifers--that promises not to offer any help overcoming depression...only comfort, company, and tips for life inside the grey fog. Advice that ranges from practical (Chapter 17: Do Your Crying on a Cat) to philosophical (Chapter 21: Make Peace With Sunshine) punctuates a laugh-out-loud memoir tracing the depression thread from Novak's average suburban childhood to her current adult New York City existence, an imperfect but healthy-ish life in which Novak is mostly upright but still rarely does laundry. At heart, How to Weep in Public provides a no-pressure, safe-zone for the reader to curl up inside. Keep this book on the shelf to be returned to it as needed–after all, depression is recurring. Jacqueline will be waiting to you tell you “You can fight another day.” No, not as in “fight on another day” but “fight this some other day.” Whether you’re coping with the occasional down day, or thriving fully in Picasso’s blue period, How to Weep in Public is the perfect place to regroup during a dark stint. So sit back, relax, and let Jacqueline Novak show you how to navigate the shadowy corridors of your troubled mind or the cheese display at the supermarket when food is the only thing that can save you.
Why read a book about Amy Schumer and philosophy? After all, Amy Schumer is primarily known as a comedian, though she is also an actor, writer, and producer. One reason is that it will be enlightening. Amy Schumer is one of a handful of contemporary comedians filling the role of public philosopher. To be clear, Amy herself does not claim to be offering wisdom. This volume contains seventeen fun-filled chapters. One author makes the case that Amy uses humor to encourage her audience to consider important questions, for example, she does this when she discusses the trial of Bill Cosby while evoking fond memories of The Cosby Show. She essentially asks her audience to consider whether they give priority to unconflicted entertainment over justice for rape victims. In another chapter, the author casts a philosophical eye toward the action-comedy film Snatched and finds that it raises questions about responsibility: Is Schumer’s character, Emily, responsible for getting kidnapped in Ecuador? Is Emily responsible for the death of one of her kidnappers? Another author asks whether Snatched can be a great comedy and still get negative reviews? What is the role of art and who determines whether a work of art is good or beautiful? What do Amy Schumer and Friedrich Nietzsche have in common? Is Amy a “sex comic” or an “issue comic”? With her typical self-deprecating comedic style, Amy makes jokes by highlighting the absurd, the illogical, and the hypocritical in gender relations, notions of masculinity and femininity, and superficial values. But the main reason to read Amy Schumer and Philosophy is that it a pretty awesome read and laughter will most definitely ensue.
Lizbreath Salamander is young and beautiful. Her scales have an iridescent sheen, her wings arch proudly, her breath has a tang of sulfur. And on her back a tattoo of a mythical creature: a girl. But when Lizbreath is drawn into a dark conspiracy she will have to rely on more than her beauty and her vicious claws the size of sabres ... A dragon has disappeared, one of a secretive clan. As Lizbreath delves deeper into their history she realises that these dragons will do anything to defend their secrets. Welcome to the world of The Dragon With The Girl Tattoo. A world of gloomy Nordic dragons leading lives uncannily like our own (despite their size, despite the need for extensive fireproofing of home furnishings), a world of money hoarded, a world of darkness and corruption. A world where people are the fantasy.
Wanda Sykes reduces people to tears -- tears of laughter. She's done so as a stand-up comic, a sitcom star, and a sports commentator for years now, and in the process she's gained a huge fan base nationwide. Now that she's conquered television, she's applying her genius to her first book, Yeah, I Said It. Here, Wanda presents hilarious and uncensored commentary on sex, family, politics, celebrities, and much more than she could ever say in a sound bite. But then again, she's a genius with a sound bite too. Here's what she says about men and football. "I used to think that football took place in this overbearing male-only environment that bled masculine domination. But the more I attend, the more I realize these football fans could actually be experiencing the straight man's gay pride parade. You see men painting each other's faces in bright colors. You see men proud to wear another man's last name on their shirt. You see some men wear no shirt at all....Hot wieners on every corner as you walk up to the main competition. Men open the back of their trunks for a little tailgating." Here's what she says about women: "Women are taking stripper classes in hopes their men will stop going to strip clubs....You can't compete with those strippers....You gotta have...the stripper mentality. In other words, the ability to lie like a dog for a measly buck. A stripper will tell your man anything for a dollar. 'Oow, I thought you were Brad Pitt.' " An uproarious and irreverent collection from one of today's foremost comedic talents, Yeah, I Said It is Wanda Sykes at her uncensored best. Here, she channels her sharp wit into funny bits on the truth as she sees it from the halls of government in Washington, D.C., to the red carpets and boardrooms of Hollywood. Imbued with her razor-sharp voice, these essays showcase Sykes's sidesplitting candor and her trademark brand of comedy.
Months before her fifteenth birthday, Nyssa learns that she is a special member of a legendary clan, the Keepers of Knowledge, as she and her uncle try to escape from Alaric, the White Wolf, who wants to use lines tattooed on her to destroy the rest of her people.
Award-winning actress Drew Barrymore shares funny, insightful, and profound stories from her past and present told from the place of happiness she's achieved today. Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross country road trip, saying goodbye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today. It is the first book Drew has written about her life since the age of 14.
Sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, and always brutally honest, this is Rosie O'Donnell's surprising account of the pain, regret, and euphoria involved in withdrawing from celebrity life--and the terrifying dangers of relapsing into the spotlight. CELEBRITY DETOX is Rosie's story of the years after she walked away from her top-rated TV show in 2002, and her reasons for going back on the air in 2006. In it, she takes you inside the world of talk show TV, speaking candidly about the conflicts and challenges she faced as cohost on ABC's The View. Along the way Rosie shows us how fame becomes addiction and explores whether or not it's possible for an addict to safely, and sanely, return to the spotlight. Chronicling the ups and downs of "the fame game," Rosie O'Donnell illuminates not only what it's like to be a celebrity, but also what it's like to be a mother, a daughter, a leader, a friend, a sister, a wife...in short, a human being.
"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
She’s everywhere once you start looking for her: the trainwreck. She’s Britney Spears shaving her head, Whitney Houston saying, “crack is whack,” and Amy Winehouse, dying in front of millions. But the trainwreck is also as old (and as meaningful) as feminism itself. From Mary Wollstonecraft—who, for decades after her death, was more famous for her illegitimate child and suicide attempts than for A Vindication of the Rights of Woman—to Charlotte Brontë, Billie Holiday, Sylvia Plath, and even Hillary Clinton, Sady Doyle’s Trainwreck dissects a centuries-old phenomenon and asks what it means now, in a time when we have unprecedented access to celebrities and civilians alike, and when women are pushing harder than ever against the boundaries of what it means to “behave.” Where did these women come from? What are their crimes? And what does it mean for the rest of us? For an age when any form of self-expression can be the one that ends you, Sady Doyle’s book is as fierce and intelligent as it is funny and compassionate—an essential, timely, feminist anatomy of the female trainwreck.
Named a BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW, VOGUE, TIME MAGAZINE, NPR and THE ROOT Named A 2017 BEST SUMMER READ BY Vogue • Elle • Harper's Bazaar • Glamour • Buzzfeed • In Style • Men's Journal • Bustle • Ms. Magazine • Pop Sugar • Newsday • The Millions • Time Out • Bitch • CNN's The Lead • The Fader "[A] cutting take on race and class...part dark comedy, part surreal morality tale. Disturbing and delicious." -People "You’ll gulp Senna’s novel in a single sitting—but then mull over it for days.” –Entertainment Weekly "Everyone should read it." –Vogue From the bestselling author of Caucasia, a subversive and engrossing novel of race, class and manners in contemporary America. As the twentieth century draws to a close, Maria is at the start of a life she never thought possible. She and Khalil, her college sweetheart, are planning their wedding. They are the perfect couple, "King and Queen of the Racially Nebulous Prom." Their skin is the same shade of beige. They live together in a black bohemian enclave in Brooklyn, where Khalil is riding the wave of the first dot-com boom and Maria is plugging away at her dissertation, on the Jonestown massacre. They've even landed a starring role in a documentary about "new people" like them, who are blurring the old boundaries as a brave new era dawns. Everything Maria knows she should want lies before her--yet she can't stop daydreaming about another man, a poet she barely knows. As fantasy escalates to fixation, it dredges up secrets from the past and threatens to unravel not only Maria's perfect new life but her very persona. Heartbreaking and darkly comic, New People is a bold and unfettered page-turner that challenges our every assumption about how we define one another, and ourselves.
“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a striking novel. Just when I was thinking there wasn't anything new on the horizon, along comes Stieg Larsson with this wonderfully unique story. I was completely absorbed.” —Michael Connelly "I doubt you will read a better book this year.” —Val McDermid Forty years ago, Harriet Vanger disappeared off the secluded island owned and inhabited by the powerful Vanger family. There was no corpse, no witnesses, no evidence. But her uncle, Henrik, is convinced that she was murdered by someone from her own deeply dysfunctional family. Disgraced journalist Mikael Blomkvist is hired to investigate, but he quickly finds himself in over his head. He hires a competent assistant: the gifted and conscience-free computer specialist Lisbeth Salander, and the two unravel a dark and appalling family history. But the Vangers are a secretive clan, and Blomkvist and Salander are about to find out just how far they are prepared to go to protect themselves.
In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
International bestseller! In her groundbreaking debut essay collection, actress Lily Collins—Golden Globe-nominated star of Rules Don’t Apply, Mortal Instruments, and To the Bone—is opening a poignant, honest conversation about the things young women struggle with: body image, self-confidence, relationships, family, dating, and so much more. Lily shares her life and her own deepest secrets, underlining that every single one of us experiences pain and heartbreak. We all understand what it’s like to live in the light and in the dark. For Lily, it’s about making it through to the other side, where you love what you see in the mirror and where you embrace yourself just as you are. She's learned that all it takes is one person standing up and saying something for everyone else to realize they’re not alone. By turns hilarious and heartbreaking, Lily’s honest voice will inspire you to be who you are and say what you feel. It’s time to claim your voice! It’s time to live your life unfiltered.