Fifty Shades of Chicken

A wryly whimsical culinary parody of E. L. James' Fifty Shades trilogy combines epicurean double entendres, 50 chicken recipes and the story of a young free-range chicken who finds herself at the mercy of a kinky and dominating chef, in a parody that includes such dishes as "Sticky (Chicken) Fingers" and "Bound Wings."

Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef. And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more. With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.

This is the ORIGINAL book about eating cock. All other "cock" books are impostors!" "Adrienne Hew has added to the culinary repertoire with this fun and imaginative cookbook on a forgotten traditional food." -Review from Sally Fallon Morell, President, The Weston A. Price Foundation and author of Nourishing Traditions "How much cock can one eat in a lifetime? Let Adrienne Hew count the Ways! A humorous approach to a subject that we tend to ignore: nutrition! Learn to eat cock and LOVE it! Our listeners ate it up!" -Review from Mark Colavecchio, The Bob and Mark Show Curious about cock? You're not the only one. Once revered for his virility and strength, the rooster has taken a back seat to the hen in more recent years. With healthy chicken recipes like Risotto Cock Balls and Cock-o's, 50 Ways to Eat Cock is a fun and inventive chicken cookbook that takes a revealing look at the folklore, history, culinary culture and nutritional benefits of this well-endowed ingredient. With tongue-in-cheek descriptions, these playful cock recipes are bulging with everything from the quintessential to the quick-and-easy to the downright quirky. You'll learn how to tame this tough bird meat into succulent and finger-licking gourmet meals. Thanks to the ingenuity of author and Certified Nutritionist, Adrienne Hew, the noble cock retakes his rightful place at the head of the table. Grab the "hard copy" as the perfect bridal shower gift! * If you want, you can also make any of these recipes with chicken, but they wouldn't be as fun.

The creator of the best-selling 50 Shades of Chicken present a new parody cookbook that shares 50 zombie-inspired recipes for snacks and special-occasion fare while recounting a tongue-in-cheek love-survival story about an everyday mom and her backwoods hunk.

Fifty Shades of Bacon is an erotic cookbook that delves into the full bacon experience. Ok, it is not erotic at all, but it is a tongue in cheek delivery of some great bacon recipes. Everything from basic bacon bits to bacon ice cream to bacon au gratin and alfredo. If you are into bacon, want an interesting conversation piece or are looking for a present for the meat lover in your life, this title is for you. This is a softcover book that has 62 pages and 50 recipes.

Fifty Shades of Gravy "a Christian Gets Saucy!" is a cookbook wrapped in a parody surrounded by a comedy with a tongue firmly inserted into a cheek – but the recipes are deadly serious and may leave readers licking the gravy boat. Hallee Bridgeman, A.K.A. "Hallee the Homemaker" rides the gravy train to triumph and hilarity with her premiere cookbook, revealing the secrets of the penultimate comfort food – gravy. Fifty Shades of Gravy "a Christian Gets Saucy!" is a cookbook wrapped in a parody surrounded by a comedy with a tongue firmly inserted into a cheek – but the recipes are deadly serious and may leave readers licking the gravy boat. Her famous whole food, real food recipes bathe in luxuriant liquid comfort with recipes that are sure to captivate and enslave any audience. Hallee starts with stocks and broths and then explores every shade of gravy you can whip up. Some recipes are entire meals and some are simple sauces while still others are gravies served alongside a traditional holiday feast. There are meaty gravies, comfort food gravies, vegan gravies, gluten-free gravies, and even chocolate gravies! For any gravy question you were too ashamed to ask, this saucy Christian shares the answer

If dinnertime has you cursing up a storm, this cookbook of 50 profane and delicious dishes will get you off your indecisive a** and into the f*@#ing kitchen! Derived from the incredibly popular (and totally addictive) website, WhatTheFuckShouldIMakeForDinner.com, this "choose your own adventure" style cookbook provides quick and easy solutions for the nightly conundrum. Every page is a new (and easy) meal, with enough pizzazz to keep you interested. Don't like the recipe? Simply choose another page for a new f*@#ing idea! Making choices is hard, so let this book do it for you with 50 solid meal ideas-and a side of salty language-for meat-eaters and vegetarians alike, such as: Scallop Ceviche Grilled Skirt Steak with Chimichurri Red Flannel Hash Vegetarian Cassoulet Never hem and haw over what to make for dinner again! What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner? is the perfect gift for anyone who loves food, and will become your go-to guide to save you from headache, hunger, and your own wishy-washy self.

Prepare to enter a fantasy world. A world where clothes get folded just so, delicious dinners await, and flatulence is just not that funny. Give the fairer sex what they really wantbeautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: "I love a clean house!" or "As long as I have two legs to walk on, you'll never take out the trash." Now this is porn that will leave women begging for more!

With this cookbook on their kitchen counters, home cooks can prepare delicious chicken suppers with confidence and ease. The spirit of this cookbook lies in author Stacie Billis’ light, funny, and instructional tone, which takes the intimidation factor out of working with chicken, whether breaking down a bird or roasting it whole. Each chapter is chock-full of tips and tricks that use a wide range of techniques, from braising and roasting to grilling, slow cooking, and sheet-pan cooking, and all fifty recipes focus on tender meat infused with flavor. Keep roasted chicken classic, or give it pizzazz with the addition of a savory compound butter. Get perfectly crispy tenders without frying or give fajitas with lime crema the sheetpan treatment for easy prep (and cleanup). Other favorite recipes include Chicken Thighs with Maple–Cider Vinegar Glaze and Fennel-Apple Slaw, Sheet Pan Shawarma, Chicken Parmesan Meatballs, Green and White Chicken Chili, Peachy Sriracha Sticky Wings, and Pineapple Chicken Salad with Green Beans and Toasted Coconut. With colorful photographs of every recipe, readers will master the classics and discover new favorites for every occasion, from a casual dinner party to a backyard cookout.

Kale gets sexy in Fifty Shades of Kale by Drew Ramsey, M.D., and Jennifer Iserloh, with 50 recipes that are mouth-wateringly delicious and do a body good. Release yourself from the bondage of guilt and start cooking meals with the ingredients you love: meat, cheese, and yes—even butter. Nutrient-rich kale provides essential vitamins and minerals to keep you healthy, happy, and lean—so you can indulge in your most delicious desires. Whether you’re a cooking novice or a real kale submissive, you will undoubtedly succumb to Kale’s charms. From Mushroom and Kale Risotto to Kale Kiwi Gazpacho, Fifty Shade of Kale offers simple ways to have your kale and eat it, too, as well as nutritional information, cooking tips, and a tutorial on kale in all her glorious shades. Indulge your culinary passions with Fifty Shades of Kale: 50 Fresh and Satisfying Recipes That Are Bound to Please.

The life of a young nun in New England in the 1960s provides the backdrop for the provocative and highly relevant new novel Fifty Shades of Black and White: Confessions of a Naughty Nun. Eighteen-year-old Catherine Connor first enters the convent in September 1959. She begins her training as a postulant in Cumberland, Rhode Island. The story starts with her experiences in the novitiate and follows her as she takes her final vows. At the end of her postulant year, she becomes Sister Mary Irene Joseph. Her first mission after completing her education is to teach at a Catholic school in Fall River, Massachusetts. There she meets and falls in love with the young parish priest, Paul Kelly, who persistently pursues her. Catherine's experiences describe both convent life and her intimate love story, which is at times funny, sad, and melancholy. Fifty Shades of Black and White poses problems that the church is still struggling with today. Catherine's story is one you will never forget.

Host the ultimate pizza party with this creative cookbook of delicious recipes inspired by the heroes of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Straight out of the sewers and right into the kitchen, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' favorite pizzas are finally yours to create and enjoy! Join Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo on a seriously ooey, gooey, cheesy, adventure inspired by the beloved original cartoon series. This cookbook contains sixty-five righteous recipes, from old-school classic such the New York Style Pepperoni to newfangled feasts such as the Lean, Mean, and Green and Shredder's Revenge. There's a pizza for every occasion -- breakfast pizzas, mini-pizzas, party pizzas, and even dessert pizzas. So get on the ninja diet and be prepared to eat your hearts out! Cowabunga! © 2017 Viacom International Inc. and Viacom Overseas Holdings C.V. All rights reserved. Nickelodeon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and all related titles, logos, and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc. and Viacom Overseas Holdings C.V. Based on the characters created by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman.

Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?

Get out of your recipe rut with Real Simple's A-to-Z guide to 350 easy and delicious home cooking ideas featuring 35 of your favorite ingredients.

Organized from avocados to zucchini, Dinner Made Simple is filled with smart, quick recipes-many taking 30 minutes or less to make-that will show home cooks how 35 readily available ingredients can be spun into 350 meals fit for any day of the week. Why rely on the same spaghetti and marinara when you can discover new ways to upgrade a box of pasta with savory bacon and escarole or transform it onto a spicy kimchi noodle soup? Take a versatile ingredient like ground turkey and elevate it with surprising and mouthwatering new combo ideas or try zucchini on pizza, in gazpacho, or a sandwich.

With 10 new ideas for every ingredient, a photo for every recipe, and a wealth of simple cooking tips throughout, Dinner Made Simple will inspire readers to get creative in the kitchen and answer that nightly "What should I make for dinner?" question. Plus, helpful sections on buying and storing ingredients, desserts, measurements, and a complete nutritional index make this cookbook an incredible value and indispensable kitchen resource.

A game-changing collection of 60 new-fashioned chicken recipes from chef Tyler Kord and Food52, the award-winning online kitchen and home destination. Sautéed, fried, or nestled in a sheet pan, chicken is a clear winner for home cooks around the world--from jerk chicken and chicken adobo to Vietnamese chicken noodle soup, pho ga. But because chicken is so popular, you may feel like you've run out of new ways to love it. That's where Food52 and Tyler Kord come in, bringing you a clever collection of deliciously inventive chicken dishes. In this book, you'll find creative recipes for every occasion: Winning weeknight dinners and ambitious-but-worth-it weekend projects; meals to impress guests and satisfy picky kids; and cozy comfort foods to curl up with. Tyler's new classics will soon join your regular recipe lineup, with dishes like Roast Chicken with All of the Vegetables in Your CSA, Broiled Chicken Thighs with Plum Tomatoes & Garlic, Patrick's Fried Chicken with Spicy Pickles, and Tangy Rose's Lime-Glazed Wings. He throws in a few surprises, too, like Chicken & Kimchi Pierogies and Spicy Parmesan Chicken Potpie, along with an ingenious combination of chicken and lasagna (called Chickensagna, naturally). And thanks to handy how-tos on carving, trussing, spatchcocking, making stock from scratch, and much more, you'll learn every chicken trick in the--well--book. So even if chicken's already your trusty dinner go-to, Dynamite Chicken will have you eating lots more of it, and never getting bored.

Need to spice up your love life? The Gingerbread Kama Sutra is here to help. With chapters ranging from Easy to Advanced to Expert, there's a gingerbread position whatever your flavour. Handy baking templates show you how to make these cookie creations at home, while descriptions from the Kama Sutra mean you can get inventive in the bedroom as well as in the kitchen. Featuring Patti Paige's signature and vegan gingerbread and her top tips for baking and decorating, this book is a sure-fire recipe for romance.

International Bestseller! "Hilarious parody!" "It had me tingling all over!" "I dumped my husband after I read this book - thank you!!!" "Black and Blue is the new Grey!" "Ouch!!" In this hilarious parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, our heroine is Annabelle Stilletto from Jersey City, New Jersey, a Beauty School graduate who has no job and lives with her loser roommate. Her life changes suddenly when she meets her dream guy, the rich and handsome Vinnie Griso, the heir to the Vinnie's Auto Parts empire. She falls for Vinnie's seductive charms - not to mention his clear blue eyes, jet black hair, tight black pants and pointy shoes. But when Vinnie invites her for a romantic evening at his secluded mansion, she discovers the secrets that he has been hiding from the world. She is soon introduced to Vinnie's "rules" and invited into a "special" relationship with her dream guy. She is conflicted about how far to surrender, but before long gives in to her deepest desires and discovers the pleasures of domination as she becomes "fifty shades of black and blue." Hilarious, erotic and nice, not-so-clean fun, Fifty Shades of Black and Blue is the bestselling parody everyone is talking about.

Pink is the new Grey. Irreverent, poignant, true. This book celebrates the joy and humor of parenthood. The bestselling trilogy instigated a boom of "Fifty Shades" babies. And it turns out, True Love doesn't look quite like you expected. 50-page, full-color, illustrated Seussian book for parents. Like Adam Mansbach's "Go the F**k to Sleep," it's a reality check for new parents. A must-read if reading the E L James trilogy made you a mom. Great baby shower gift. Great Mother's Day gift.

Discover 50 seductive recipes in 50 Shades of Chicken. Have chicken every way you like it - roasted, grilled, baked, pulled, in pot pies, and in salads.