Fifty Shades of Chicken

A wryly whimsical culinary parody of E. L. James' Fifty Shades trilogy combines epicurean double entendres, 50 chicken recipes and the story of a young free-range chicken who finds herself at the mercy of a kinky and dominating chef, in a parody that includes such dishes as "Sticky (Chicken) Fingers" and "Bound Wings."

Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef. And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more. With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner. From the Hardcover edition.

Fifty Shades of Bacon is an erotic cookbook that delves into the full bacon experience. Ok, it is not erotic at all, but it is a tongue in cheek delivery of some great bacon recipes. Everything from basic bacon bits to bacon ice cream to bacon au gratin and alfredo. If you are into bacon, want an interesting conversation piece or are looking for a present for the meat lover in your life, this title is for you. This is a softcover book that has 62 pages and 50 recipes.

The creator of the best-selling 50 Shades of Chicken present a new parody cookbook that shares 50 zombie-inspired recipes for snacks and special-occasion fare while recounting a tongue-in-cheek love-survival story about an everyday mom and her backwoods hunk.

This is the ORIGINAL book about eating cock. All other "cock" books are impostors!" "Adrienne Hew has added to the culinary repertoire with this fun and imaginative cookbook on a forgotten traditional food." -Review from Sally Fallon Morell, President, The Weston A. Price Foundation and author of Nourishing Traditions "How much cock can one eat in a lifetime? Let Adrienne Hew count the Ways! A humorous approach to a subject that we tend to ignore: nutrition! Learn to eat cock and LOVE it! Our listeners ate it up!" -Review from Mark Colavecchio, The Bob and Mark Show Curious about cock? You're not the only one. Once revered for his virility and strength, the rooster has taken a back seat to the hen in more recent years. With healthy chicken recipes like Risotto Cock Balls and Cock-o's, 50 Ways to Eat Cock is a fun and inventive chicken cookbook that takes a revealing look at the folklore, history, culinary culture and nutritional benefits of this well-endowed ingredient. With tongue-in-cheek descriptions, these playful cock recipes are bulging with everything from the quintessential to the quick-and-easy to the downright quirky. You'll learn how to tame this tough bird meat into succulent and finger-licking gourmet meals. Thanks to the ingenuity of author and Certified Nutritionist, Adrienne Hew, the noble cock retakes his rightful place at the head of the table. Grab the "hard copy" as the perfect bridal shower gift! * If you want, you can also make any of these recipes with chicken, but they wouldn't be as fun.

If dinnertime has you cursing up a storm, this cookbook of 50 profane and delicious dishes will get you off your indecisive a** and into the f*@#ing kitchen! Derived from the incredibly popular (and totally addictive) website, WhatTheFuckShouldIMakeForDinner.com, this "choose your own adventure" style cookbook provides quick and easy solutions for the nightly conundrum. Every page is a new (and easy) meal, with enough pizzazz to keep you interested. Don't like the recipe? Simply choose another page for a new f*@#ing idea! Making choices is hard, so let this book do it for you with 50 solid meal ideas-and a side of salty language-for meat-eaters and vegetarians alike, such as: Scallop Ceviche Grilled Skirt Steak with Chimichurri Red Flannel Hash Vegetarian Cassoulet Never hem and haw over what to make for dinner again! What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner? is the perfect gift for anyone who loves food, and will become your go-to guide to save you from headache, hunger, and your own wishy-washy self.

Fifty Shades of Gravy "a Christian Gets Saucy!" is a cookbook wrapped in a parody surrounded by a comedy with a tongue firmly inserted into a cheek – but the recipes are deadly serious and may leave readers licking the gravy boat. Hallee Bridgeman, A.K.A. "Hallee the Homemaker" rides the gravy train to triumph and hilarity with her premiere cookbook, revealing the secrets of the penultimate comfort food – gravy. Fifty Shades of Gravy "a Christian Gets Saucy!" is a cookbook wrapped in a parody surrounded by a comedy with a tongue firmly inserted into a cheek – but the recipes are deadly serious and may leave readers licking the gravy boat. Her famous whole food, real food recipes bathe in luxuriant liquid comfort with recipes that are sure to captivate and enslave any audience. Hallee starts with stocks and broths and then explores every shade of gravy you can whip up. Some recipes are entire meals and some are simple sauces while still others are gravies served alongside a traditional holiday feast. There are meaty gravies, comfort food gravies, vegan gravies, gluten-free gravies, and even chocolate gravies! For any gravy question you were too ashamed to ask, this saucy Christian shares the answer

Kale gets sexy in Fifty Shades of Kale by Drew Ramsey, M.D., and Jennifer Iserloh, with 50 recipes that are mouth-wateringly delicious and do a body good. Release yourself from the bondage of guilt and start cooking meals with the ingredients you love: meat, cheese, and yes—even butter. Nutrient-rich kale provides essential vitamins and minerals to keep you healthy, happy, and lean—so you can indulge in your most delicious desires. Whether you’re a cooking novice or a real kale submissive, you will undoubtedly succumb to Kale’s charms. From Mushroom and Kale Risotto to Kale Kiwi Gazpacho, Fifty Shade of Kale offers simple ways to have your kale and eat it, too, as well as nutritional information, cooking tips, and a tutorial on kale in all her glorious shades. Indulge your culinary passions with Fifty Shades of Kale: 50 Fresh and Satisfying Recipes That Are Bound to Please.

Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?

A collection of eclectic vegetarian and vegan recipes for singles as well as lone vegetarians in meat-eating households, from the beloved Washington Post editor and author of Serve Yourself. An increasing number of Americans are turning to plant-based diets, both for their health and the economic benefits. And for many, they are the only one in their household who has made the change--making it the perfect time for this book of vegetarian, flexitarian, and vegan recipes specifically sized for single portions. In addition to 80 delectable and satisfying recipes, Eat Your Vegetables features essays on moving beyond mock meat and the evolution of vegetarian restaurants, as well as economical tips for shopping for, storing, and reusing ingredients.

Whether you prefer it cold out of the fridge or hot and crispy on a buttery biscuit, you will find your new favorite fried chicken recipe in Fried & True, serving up more than 50 recipes for America’s most decadently delicious food. Lee Schrager has left no stone unturned in his quest to find America’s best fried chicken. From four-star restaurants to roadside fry shacks, you’ll learn how to brine your bird, give it a buttermilk bath, batter or even double batter it, season with loads of spices, and fry it up to golden perfection. Recipes to savor include: -Hattie B’s Hot Chicken -Yotam Ottolenghi’s Seeded Chicken Schnitzel with Parsley-Caper Mayonnaise -Marcus Samuelsson’s Coconut Fried Chicken with Collards and Gravy -Jacques-Imo’s Fried Chicken and Smothered Cabbage -The Loveless Café’s Fried Chicken and Hash Brown Casserole -Blackberry Farm’s Sweet Tea–Brined Fried Chicken -Charles Phan’s Hard Water Fried Chicken -Thomas Keller’s Buttermilk Fried Chicken -Wylie Dufresne’s Popeyes-Style Chicken Tenders and Biscuits Sink your teeth into Fried & True, the source of your next great fried chicken masterpiece and a tribute to America’s most beloved culinary treasure.

With this cookbook on their kitchen counters, home cooks can prepare delicious chicken suppers with confidence and ease. The spirit of this cookbook lies in author Stacie Billis’ light, funny, and instructional tone, which takes the intimidation factor out of working with chicken, whether breaking down a bird or roasting it whole. Each chapter is chock-full of tips and tricks that use a wide range of techniques, from braising and roasting to grilling, slow cooking, and sheet-pan cooking, and all fifty recipes focus on tender meat infused with flavor. Keep roasted chicken classic, or give it pizzazz with the addition of a savory compound butter. Get perfectly crispy tenders without frying or give fajitas with lime crema the sheetpan treatment for easy prep (and cleanup). Other favorite recipes include Chicken Thighs with Maple–Cider Vinegar Glaze and Fennel-Apple Slaw, Sheet Pan Shawarma, Chicken Parmesan Meatballs, Green and White Chicken Chili, Peachy Sriracha Sticky Wings, and Pineapple Chicken Salad with Green Beans and Toasted Coconut. With colorful photographs of every recipe, readers will master the classics and discover new favorites for every occasion, from a casual dinner party to a backyard cookout.

Connect with the earth and explore the outdoors with this enchanting cookbook from Fox Meets Bear blogger Johnna Holmgren. We forget that there is magic in food. We’ve lost an appreciation for how the ingredients we use came to be, how they grew, and where they were cultivated. In short, we’ve lost an appreciation for the earth. But Johnna Holmgren is here to restore that appreciation and help us create an adventurous spirit both in and out of the kitchen. She’s someone who goes straight to the woods behind her home for mushrooms and syrup and heads to her garden for tomatoes and fruits. Her cookbook is more than just a book—it’s an escape to another realm, a retreat into nature, and a taste of the life she lives. It brings the woods to a city loft and to the aisles of surburban supermarkets, with more than 80 unique recipes like floraled elderflower quiche, wild blueberry bee pollen scones, garlic scape wreath pasta, and a frothed reishi mushroom latte. Intertwined with photographs of foraging experiments, lush forest scenes, and whimsical illustrations, it wil linspire you to form a bond with the earth and the world around you.

International Bestseller! "Hilarious parody!" "It had me tingling all over!" "I dumped my husband after I read this book - thank you!!!" "Black and Blue is the new Grey!" "Ouch!!" In this hilarious parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, our heroine is Annabelle Stilletto from Jersey City, New Jersey, a Beauty School graduate who has no job and lives with her loser roommate. Her life changes suddenly when she meets her dream guy, the rich and handsome Vinnie Griso, the heir to the Vinnie's Auto Parts empire. She falls for Vinnie's seductive charms - not to mention his clear blue eyes, jet black hair, tight black pants and pointy shoes. But when Vinnie invites her for a romantic evening at his secluded mansion, she discovers the secrets that he has been hiding from the world. She is soon introduced to Vinnie's "rules" and invited into a "special" relationship with her dream guy. She is conflicted about how far to surrender, but before long gives in to her deepest desires and discovers the pleasures of domination as she becomes "fifty shades of black and blue." Hilarious, erotic and nice, not-so-clean fun, Fifty Shades of Black and Blue is the bestselling parody everyone is talking about.

An indispensable new cookbook from James Beard Award-winning food writer Michael Ruhlman From Scratch looks at 10 favorite meals, including roast chicken, the perfect omelet, and paella—and then, through 175 recipes, explores myriad alternate pathways that the kitchen invites. A delicious lasagna can be ready in about an hour, or you could turn it into a project: try making and adding some homemade sausage. Explore the limits of from-scratch cooking: make your own pasta, grow your own tomatoes, and make your own homemade mozzarella and ricotta. Ruhlman tells you how. There are easy and more complex versions for most dishes, vegetarian options, side dishes, sub-dishes, and strategies for leftovers. Ruhlman reflects on the ways that cooking from scratch brings people together, how it can calm the nerves and focus the mind, and how it nourishes us, body and soul.

Round, thin, and made of starchy batter cooked on a flat surface, it is a food that goes by many names: flapjack, crêpe, and okonomiyaki, to name just a few. The pancake is a treasured food the world over, and now Ken Albala unearths the surprisingly rich history of pancakes and their sizzling goodness. Pancake traverses over centuries and civilizations to examine the culinary and cultural importance of pancakes in human history. From the Russian blini to the Ethiopian injera, Albala reveals how pancakes have been a perennial source of sustenance from Greek and Roman eras to the Middle Ages through to the present day. He explores how the pancake has gained symbolic currency in diverse societies as a comfort food, a portable victual for travelers, a celebratory dish, and a breakfast meal. The book also features a number of historic and modern recipes—tracing the first official pancake recipe to a sixteenth-century Dutch cook—and is accompanied by a rich selection of illustrations. Pancake is a witty and erudite history of a well-known favorite and will ensure that the pancake will never be flattened under the shadow of better known foods.

Cardinal Education is an educational consulting and tutoring company based in Palo Alto, CA. Guided by a philosophy of fulfilling students' academic potential in a way that boosts skills and confidence for life, we work to maximize successful middle school, high school, and college admissions outcomes. While some of our methods defy “conventional wisdom,” we have a proven track record with a broad range of students: the Ivy League bound to those wishing to avoid community college, the self-motivated to the intransigently jaded, and the profoundly gifted to learning disabled. We have a passion for expanding students' dreams and helping them attain their goals.Cardinal Education believes in the social value of a strong public education system and sponsors pro bono programs to bring private sector expertise to bear. However, government fiscal policies are shortchanging public schools of opportunities: activities, sports, variety of classes, advanced classes, student: teacher ratios, and counseling departments. The “private school imperative” means that despite economic trends, admission to private school is becoming so competitive that it necessitates standardized testing excellence.The philosophy of this math workbook is rigor and drill. Because this is the first test students take that actively tries to trick students at every turn, students who sit for these standardized exams need reflexive familiarity with computation (math facts), problem types, and strategy. The entrance exams are the first standardized tests for which budgeting time is a significant issue. Students need to spend the majority of time on analysis to avoid getting tricked rather than computation. By building skills, speed, and confidence, we hope to eliminate anxiety and give students a solid foundation on which to build excellent scores.This book is intended as a supplement for our highly trained staff, so it does not include strategies. However, motivated students can use it successfully with occasional help from a teacher or parent. Each chapter is comprised of units, with each unit comprised of 4 problem sets of difficulty, increasing in a logically progressive manner. Students should do as many of the 4 problem sets for each unit as it takes to achieve a 90% accuracy rate. Students taking lower level exams should complete problems 1-10 in each set. Students competing for high school admissions should complete each problem set in its entirety. Questions or feedback: [email protected]

Bacon is the star ingredient in the more than 50 recipes you'll find in Fifty Shades of Bacon. Its the star in breakfast, for appetizers, entrees, side dishes and even in desserts. Every recipe is tried and tested to satisfy that erotic urge for this amazing meat. Here's a sampling of recipes you'll discover: Savory French-Toast BLT Bacon Cinnamon Rolls Cowboy Hash Browns Bacon Apple Pancakes Devils on Horseback Bacon Brown Sugar Smokies Bacon Mac 'n' Cheese Bites Deviled Eggs with Candied Bacon Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf Bourbon Bacon Roast Beef Sliders Beef Bourguignon & Bacon Borage, Benedictine & Bacon Sandwiches Warm Bacon Slaw Salad with Warm Bacon Vinaigrette White Bean & Bacon Soup Brussels Sprouts with Bacon Bacon Cauliflower Gratin Maple Bacon Baked Beans Maple Caramel Bacon Crack Bacon Jam Maple-Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies Maple Bacon Cheesecake Whiskey Bacon Brownies Peanut Butter Bacon, Beer & Potato Chip Cookie Bars Maple Bacon Popcorn Grab your copy of Fifty Shades of Bacon Today!

A titillating mashup of an erotic bestseller and a romantic classic, peppered with puns, this eBook is sure to satisfy those who love Fifty Shades of Grey and Pride and Prejudice! When Mr. Elliot Bingley comes to court Lizzy Bennet’s sister, she meets his mysterious, grey-eyed friend, a Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. It takes only one meeting before Lizzy is lured into Darcy’s secret world of lascivious practices and lusty urges. Her heart is racing and her bloomers quivering at the thought of submitting to Mr. Darcy’s every whim…

"These damn things are as hot as a stiff cock." - JULIA CHILD As one of the most famous coq-handlers of all time, Mrs. Child should know what she's talking about. A F Owlpun's (get it?) 50 Shades of Coq: A Parody Cookbook For Lovers of White Coq, Dark Coq, and All Shades Between promises to be one of the most cherished and wholesome family books to appear since 50 Shades of Grey. It contains recipes. Many recipes. Up to 50 of them. All containing chicken, or as the French like to titter, "Coq." So there you have it. It's a book for cooking. Why anyone would want to cook at home is beyond me, but if you do, then this is the book for you. Or for a friend. It's better if you give it to a friend and let them do the cooking. That way you win some points and get a free meal out of it. Here's an idea: Want to make a lot of friends? Then give a bunch of people a copy of this book. Make sense? I knew you'd see the wisdom in this suggestion. 'Nuff said. Buy the book, the recipes are actually delicious, and the shipping is free if you're a Prime member. And if you don't like the book, just return it for a full refund. What is there to lose, except an opportunity to make new friends? Click the BUY button now! FREE SHIPPING for prime members.